Why can’t a teenage girl like something and not get made fun of for it? Like, if a teenage girl likes reading. Kids make fun of us because we like to do so. So why can’t we have things we enjoy and not get made fun of?

This is completely and totally understandable and relatable. Sometimes it feels like everything that we’re passionate about is being judged by the people around us. Although this is something that everyone goes through, being a teenage girl in high school really enhances this. I think we all just need to have the “dance like nobody’s watching” mentality. If you truly love doing something or you feel extremely passionate about something, you shouldn’t care what other people think or say about it.
Speaking from experience, when you find that one thing that you love to do you just have to stick with it. You would not believe the unexpected friendships and opportunities that you can find within your niche. For example, if you play guitar and you love playing guitar you have to show people that side of you! If you’re spending time focusing on negative feedback then you aren’t growing and practicing within your talent.

Hey Makayla! A few months back, I was in a relationship with one of my close friends. It didn’t last very long and we agreed to stay friends, but everything is different now. There was a lot of distance in our friendship afterwards. Following into the new year, all we are now is glances in the hallways. Nobody even knows we were together for personal reasons. I understand I will lose friends along the way, but it honestly sucks.

This one is difficult. Sometimes relationships that are built on a friendship can cause a lot of unintended consequences. Part of taking that step and going from friends to more than friends is understanding and accepting that it will never be the same. Although you agreed to stay friends, it can still be pretty delicate.
You have a few options for this situation. The first one being COMMUNICATION. Tell the other person how you feel. It’s impossible to read someone’s mind, the closest we can get to reading their mind is asking how they feel. Sometimes simple texts like, “Hey, how are you lately?” or “I miss you,” can spark a conversation that has the opportunity to clear up a lot of gray areas.
On the other hand, if you feel like the distance between you is healthy and it’s going to heal the friendship just let it be. Space and time really can heal relationships sometimes.

Favorite Taylor swift song?

After three people have submitted this question, I suppose I could share my opinion. Currently my favorite Taylor Swift song is “Bejeweled.” The whole song is empowering and totally makes me feel like a girlboss.

Why do some people kick you out without taking your side of the story?

em·pa·thy noun: empathy: the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Empathy is something that our world lacks, and it’s the simple answer to a lot of questions we have about how other people treat us. Especially in this situation where there is an inability to see the other side of the story.

Sometimes, we simply have to accept the fact that some people refuse to put themselves in our shoes and see our side of the story. The best thing you can do is learn from them and treat other people how you want to be treated (yes, yes, the golden rule that’s been pounded into our skulls since elementary school).

Why can’t senior year be easy?

Senior year is the last flash of high school that we get before we get thrown into college and real-world stuff. Of course it’s going to be a bit difficult, but in retrospect I think we should see it like that last push before the finish line. You may be gasping for air, limping your way towards that line in the ground, but when you get there you’re a whole new person with a new confidence and outlook on the world. Keep pushing forward, do your best and enjoy every single little moment with your classmates because pretty soon, you’ll see it was all worth it.

Why are some high schoolers in a relationship, but the relationships aren’t healthy?

Although this is different for everyone, high school relationships are typically everyones’ first glimpse of romantic relationships. Not everyone has experience in these things right off the bat. It’s like learning anything, you’re not going to pick up a guitar with no prior experience and know what you’re doing. You can be in an unhealthy relationship and not know the severity of it, or that it’s not good for you. You have to learn how to detect these things.

The best thing we can do is look out for each other. I know from personal experience that if one of my trusted friends tells me that they don’t think someone is treating me right, I listen to what they have to say. Try to see it from an outside perspective and take that to reflect upon how you feel with this person. In the end, it comes down to your happiness and overall health.

What’s your favorite band?

Greta Van Fleet!!!! I have never admired a band as much as I admire them (and I’ve loved a lot of bands.) Their music has brought back an entire genre of rock that was left in the 70’s and I will always support that movement!!

Why are girls stupid?

As much as I would love to be offended by this question, I understand the struggle and I respect the fact that you asked this. This is something that is felt from both sides. The root of the problem is heartbreak and miscommunication. Everyone is at a different maturity level, therefore we can never just make a general statement like “boys are stupid” or “girls are stupid.” I think our definition of stupid is more like innocence and cluelessness. We don’t always know what we’re doing when we interact with the opposite gender. Especially when there’s this underlying sense of hatred towards the other gender because of things like “girls rule and boys drool.” If you think about it, we’ve always been separated in this war of boys vs girls until we got thrown into high school and now everyone is navigating hormones and emotions and relationships. We aren’t used to getting along, but I think with some practice, things will be different.

Like I said in the “why are boys stupid?” response, take time to figure yourself out! You don’t need a relationship with anyone but yourself. Once you have that, you also have a whole new world in front of you.

Does anyone else have the random urge to drop everyone and run away?

YES, YES, YES. This is something experienced by most overwhelmed and stressed out people. I think this is why so many people do what we call “ghosting.” (Ghosting is when you delete all of your social media in an attempt to go off the map.)
Unfortunately we can’t ghost our problems, but there are healthy ways that we can handle things (that don’t involve packing up and running away.) Take a step back and look at how you handle things, do you have balance in your life? You have to make time for your body, your mind, your academics, and alllllllll of these things and it’s so scary and overwhelming. Something that I do when I feel this way is write in a journal. Even if you only do it when you feel like you need to, it’s a really good way to put things into perspective and romanticize your life. Talking to a journal is so healthy because you can tell it everything with zero judgment and then you can look back at it and be like, “Yeah, this is not that big of a deal, I got this!”

Reminder: your school is here for you. We have wonderful resources, including our magnificent guidance department. If you need someone to talk to or if you need help with any issue you’re facing, please reach out to someone. 

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Makayla White is a Presque Isle High School senior and first year staff writer for PIHS Anchor.  She is not a trained psychologist, but she speaks from experience in angsty high school struggles, she specializes in boy problems and all things pop culture.

“Hi Makayla, My family has been going through a rough time and I feel like all my friends don’t like me anymore, because I have been so distant. I feel like a purple mixed with pinks. What should I do?”

In high school it’s pretty normal to feel alone. Finding a balance between home life, school life and social life is so difficult! I understand how easy it is to bottle yourself up when there’s so much going on in your world that’s separate from your friends’ experiences.

Sometimes the best thing you can do in this situation is reach out to someone in each separate group. For example, talk to someone in your family about how you feel. Although they are your family, communication is still important and even if it doesn’t always resolve the problems it can clear up things that you may not know about. It’s also extremely important to reach out to your friends. A lot of the time when we think that people don’t like us anymore, it’s just our own overthinking getting the best of us. Although it requires a lot of vulnerability, it’s necessary to ask for reassurance sometimes. If they really are your friends, they’ll have no problem making you feel like a part of their friend group again.

Also, remember that it’s super refreshing to reach out to new people sometimes, especially in high schoo.! We’re so lucky to go to such a friendly school with so many different people with different interests. 

“Why are boys stupid?” 

Personally, I really do love this question. First off I just want to remind you that you are not the only high school girl feeling this way. Boys aren’t necessarily “stupid,” per se, but they do tend to be immature. The best advice I can give you is not to waste your time on boys. The wisest piece of advice I ever received was to give back the energy that people give to you. If boys are treating you poorly, then move along.

Honestly, the best boys (or love interests, in general) tend to come along after you’ve taken the time to love yourself and do things that you love, rather than waiting around for someone to come and sweep you off your feet. For now, don’t worry so much about boys! Enjoy your high school experience while you can, go to dances and party it up with your girlfriends, Those are the memories you’ll cherish the most!

“Hi Makayla, Someone has called me fat and I am very self conscious now. What should I do?” 

First off, I just want to apologize to you. You should never have to feel self conscious because of someone else’s words. Self consciousness and comparison are something that a lot of people deal with. I used to seriously struggle with body image, and one thing I used to do to love myself again was write down all my favorite things about myself, or even say affirmations out loud like, “I love my body because it gets me through every day.” By simply admitting these little truths, we begin to see ourselves in a more positive light. 

I know it gets really old when everyone is saying “focus on the good” and “stay positive,” but this is one of those situations that it really does help. In high school there is a lot of comparison that we have to face, especially to do with our looks. The best thing to remember is that no one can tell us who or what we are, except for us. 

“How should I tell my parents that I really want to date someone, but I can’t date until I’m 16?”

Dating in high school is so difficult because everyone is at a different maturity level. I think what you should do is prove to your parents that you are mature and responsible enough to date. Keep in mind that your parents have been your age before (as much as you may not like this), they do know best because they have the wisdom that they gained from their own experiences. 

That being said, if you really like someone and want to date them, communicate that to your parents. Sometimes something as simple as bluntly stating your feelings can get you a long way with your parents, even if it means a compromise. 

“Dear Makayla, I’m in grade 11 right now and I’m very excited to graduate next year because of the opportunities and free range I have to make a future for myself. I want to do something that matters one day. Something that no one else has done before. Or at least get the chance to help ask this country to be a better place. But yet, I can’t stand school, I do find it very useful and necessary to go. But how can I make it more enjoyable for the next two years? I don’t like any of the sports here, and I’m always busy with work for clubs.”

I totally understand what you’re going through. I think the only way to recover from this is to absolutely romanticize your life. You have a sort of burnout thing going on right now, so you have to wake up wanting to go to school. It’s going to sound super funny right now, but you are the main character in your story. It’s totally up to you to decide where the plot goes. Even if it means pretending that you like school (fake it till you make it). 

I would recommend doing little things like picking out cute outfits and listening to music that makes you feel good. I always find it so refreshing to pick out a cute outfit the night before school and wake up excited to wear it! Change up your hairstyle or your morning routine so you have something small to look forward to. Even making a new playlist to listen to before school can be such a game changer. 

Remember that high school goes by in the blink of an eye, enjoy and savor every little experience. Someday you might miss it and you’ll definitely want to look back and know that you lived in the moment. 

Reminder: your school is here for you. We have wonderful resources, including our magnificent guidance department. If you need someone to talk to or if you need help with any issue you’re facing, please reach out to someone. 

Here are some additional resources for you:

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Makayla White is a Presque Isle High School senior and first year staff writer for PIHS Anchor.  She is not a trained psychologist, but she speaks from experience in angsty high school struggles, she specializes in boy problems and all things pop culture.