Ask Makayla: April
April 17, 2023
What would you recommend to do while you fill out scholarship applications?
First of all, you should remember that this is a time and place where you absolutely need to talk yourself up. This is one of the rare occasions when you should be bragging about being a Good Samaritan. Also keep in mind that they want to hear about your accomplishments and goals; be unique and shine!
To set a good environment while you fill these out (since it can be a little bit boring and redundant), I’d recommend putting on some study tunes and having a cup of coffee or tea nearby. I like to go to Hub Coffee or Bubble Tea Cafe with AirPods in and put my head down and work. 1) it’s a wonderful aesthetic 2) it makes you feel like a celebrity and 3) you get a fancy little drink to celebrate this milestone.
Like I said, it’s a milestone. Remember how cool it is to be a senior, I find it very motivating to remind myself there’s not much longer before we’re at the finish line. We’re in the high school home stretch and that’s something that should be exciting!!
How do I stop doing something that I know is bad for me?
I really like this question and I’m so glad someone asked it. We’ve all been there. Whether it’s a relationship with another person or with junk food or bad habits, etc., etc. I have a step-by-step for this situation.
Step one: this is the hardest part. You have to identify that something is bad for you. It’s a lot easier said than done simply because it’s really hard to put things into a cause and effect type of view. It’s so easy to see a situation through rose colored glasses when you receive good and bad from it. We tend to focus on the good. I have a tendency to see things very poetically and cinematically, and I catch myself saying that everything is happening for the plot. Sometimes this is actually pretty healthy because I don’t guilt myself over mistakes because they happen. If we always knew how things would turn out, then our lives would lack plot and we would learn nothing.
Step two: (this is my favorite.) YOU HAVE TO BUILD A STRATEGY!! I like to put it in relationship terms because that makes it easier to explain. When you start to think that you need to break up with someone, there is a planning process for that. You don’t just wake up one day and do it. This goes for anything that doesn’t serve you anymore. Start cutting back on the time that you’re putting into this thing. Get rid of it gradually because if you quit cold turkey you will romanticize what you once had. Ridding yourself of it gradually will give you time to mature and get over it, slowly realizing that you’re better without it.
Especially if the damage is being done by a relationship or a situationship, spend less time with that person. Communicate what is bothering you and why you don’t feel like the relationship is serving you well anymore. If their behavior doesn’t change, start to distance yourself slowly. In the end, it works out for the best for both people involved.
Lastly, remember not to feel guilty for having to leave. Sometimes we really just aren’t meant to be in certain people’s lives or vice versa. By learning that from them, you have the validation of knowing that it won’t happen again because you know what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with. Your boundaries are important and you need to set them if you want to end up with the right people.
How do I decide on a major?
I feel guilty giving advice on this subject because I was lucky enough to have an epiphanous, main character moment where I was like, “this is what I want to do.” Sometimes that’s just how it goes, but that was a result of my exploring. Consider the things that you enjoy doing, inside or outside of school. If you like playing music and writing lyrics, there is totally a place for you in college and eventually in a career. Maybe you like taking care of your younger siblings: there’s plenty of need for people who are good with kids! I genuinely sat back and said “I really like to write, that’s what I want to do forever,” and admissions was able to tell me all of the career opportunities that could come from that passion.
Keep in mind that majors aren’t permanent and can be changed. Just explore! You are completely free to learn what you like and don’t like to do!
Here are some additional resources for you:
SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.
Makayla White is a Presque Isle High School senior and first year staff writer for PIHS Anchor. She is not a trained psychologist, but she speaks from experience in angsty high school struggles, she specializes in boy problems and all things pop culture.