Ask Makayla: Week One

Ask+Makayla%3A+Week+One

Makayla White, Staff Writer

“Hi Makayla, My family has been going through a rough time and I feel like all my friends don’t like me anymore, because I have been so distant. I feel like a purple mixed with pinks. What should I do?”

In high school it’s pretty normal to feel alone. Finding a balance between home life, school life and social life is so difficult! I understand how easy it is to bottle yourself up when there’s so much going on in your world that’s separate from your friends’ experiences.

Sometimes the best thing you can do in this situation is reach out to someone in each separate group. For example, talk to someone in your family about how you feel. Although they are your family, communication is still important and even if it doesn’t always resolve the problems it can clear up things that you may not know about. It’s also extremely important to reach out to your friends. A lot of the time when we think that people don’t like us anymore, it’s just our own overthinking getting the best of us. Although it requires a lot of vulnerability, it’s necessary to ask for reassurance sometimes. If they really are your friends, they’ll have no problem making you feel like a part of their friend group again.

Also, remember that it’s super refreshing to reach out to new people sometimes, especially in high schoo.! We’re so lucky to go to such a friendly school with so many different people with different interests. 

 

“Why are boys stupid?” 

Personally, I really do love this question. First off I just want to remind you that you are not the only high school girl feeling this way. Boys aren’t necessarily “stupid,” per se, but they do tend to be immature. The best advice I can give you is not to waste your time on boys. The wisest piece of advice I ever received was to give back the energy that people give to you. If boys are treating you poorly, then move along.

Honestly, the best boys (or love interests, in general) tend to come along after you’ve taken the time to love yourself and do things that you love, rather than waiting around for someone to come and sweep you off your feet. For now, don’t worry so much about boys! Enjoy your high school experience while you can, go to dances and party it up with your girlfriends, Those are the memories you’ll cherish the most!

 

“Hi Makayla, Someone has called me fat and I am very self conscious now. What should I do?” 

First off, I just want to apologize to you. You should never have to feel self conscious because of someone else’s words. Self consciousness and comparison are something that a lot of people deal with. I used to seriously struggle with body image, and one thing I used to do to love myself again was write down all my favorite things about myself, or even say affirmations out loud like, “I love my body because it gets me through every day.” By simply admitting these little truths, we begin to see ourselves in a more positive light. 

I know it gets really old when everyone is saying “focus on the good” and “stay positive,” but this is one of those situations that it really does help. In high school there is a lot of comparison that we have to face, especially to do with our looks. The best thing to remember is that no one can tell us who or what we are, except for us. 

 

“How should I tell my parents that I really want to date someone, but I can’t date until I’m 16?”

Dating in high school is so difficult because everyone is at a different maturity level. I think what you should do is prove to your parents that you are mature and responsible enough to date. Keep in mind that your parents have been your age before (as much as you may not like this), they do know best because they have the wisdom that they gained from their own experiences. 

That being said, if you really like someone and want to date them, communicate that to your parents. Sometimes something as simple as bluntly stating your feelings can get you a long way with your parents, even if it means a compromise. 

 

“Dear Makayla, I’m in grade 11 right now and I’m very excited to graduate next year because of the opportunities and free range I have to make a future for myself. I want to do something that matters one day. Something that no one else has done before. Or at least get the chance to help ask this country to be a better place. But yet, I can’t stand school, I do find it very useful and necessary to go. But how can I make it more enjoyable for the next two years? I don’t like any of the sports here, and I’m always busy with work for clubs.”

I totally understand what you’re going through. I think the only way to recover from this is to absolutely romanticize your life. You have a sort of burnout thing going on right now, so you have to wake up wanting to go to school. It’s going to sound super funny right now, but you are the main character in your story. It’s totally up to you to decide where the plot goes. Even if it means pretending that you like school (fake it till you make it). 

I would recommend doing little things like picking out cute outfits and listening to music that makes you feel good. I always find it so refreshing to pick out a cute outfit the night before school and wake up excited to wear it! Change up your hairstyle or your morning routine so you have something small to look forward to. Even making a new playlist to listen to before school can be such a game changer. 

Remember that high school goes by in the blink of an eye, enjoy and savor every little experience. Someday you might miss it and you’ll definitely want to look back and know that you lived in the moment. 

Reminder: your school is here for you. We have wonderful resources, including our magnificent guidance department. If you need someone to talk to or if you need help with any issue you’re facing, please reach out to someone. 

The guidance office is always available for students who find that they need someone to talk to, we can also assist with referrals for services outside of school if that is what the student and their family are more comfortable with. We work really hard in the guidance office to ensure that it is a safe space for students to land when they are having a hard time. ”

— Mrs. Pinette

Here are some additional resources for you:

SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.

Makayla White is a Presque Isle High School senior and first year staff writer for PIHS Anchor.  She is not a trained psychologist, but she speaks from experience in angsty high school struggles, she specializes in boy problems and all things pop culture.